Self-harm and Depression

 Can you inflict harm upon yourself? No, that would hurt. The only way it would hurt less than your current situation is if your anger towards the world is hurting you more than how much you can hurt yourself. In an ideal world with everyone developed to their Spiritual potential, nobody will be sorry. However, it would be a world extremely prone to Judgment. In other words, everyone will be satisfied with the world but everyone will be living different lives however complementary to each other. Wholesale ambition, mobility, charity, etc. will be replaced by voluntary service to the Order. Until this phase is reached, there will be a lot of cruelty, shaming, hatred, disorder and injury. Bullies are people extremely prone to shame, people who judge are shown to have very low self-esteem, etc. Being hurt and hurting others is mankind's destiny until authenticity, individuality and SERVICE is achieved. Why Service? Service to whom? It is Service to the harmony inherent to human nature once the Soul is lifted to its True Will and individual potential. Authenticity and individuality are understood like careerism or being outright assholes. Order cannot be achieved through competition, ambition, etc. If you look around yourself, you will see merit plays a very little role in achieving real success. There is something magical, or in other words fateful in success. Yet, achieving individuality in an underdeveloped humanity is being lonely, under-appreciated, and living at the defense against vulgarity. It is possible to be pushed to a corner by the vulgar mediocrity and being made target of slander, ostracism, mockery, insults, and threats. This is when the Yesod (Kabbalah) initiation takes place. One should immediately seek a new life in a new place, but should never hope to forget their Initiation. A rejection and even suspicion of masses is the second step towards the realization of True Will. For our next lives, we need to carry this burden of inhabiting the world in a precarious manner. Your pain is the energy that sustains the illusion of materiality. This is why Yesod is the 'foundation' of Malkuth (materiality). The vulgar mass stamps on Yesod, as every height reached on the Tree of Life has a corresponding place in Hell, as long as you are in the world. Man is stretched between the poles of Mind and Self as a condition of existence. Intelligence and pain coexist until they mature into submission. With each level of submission, a purity, hence Transpersonal power is achieved. Higher levels of Consciousness diminish the ability to function at more animal levels. This effect cannot be felt by the individual, as the mind cannot know itself. However, there are ample signs on the way, such as inexplicable ostracism, lack of pleasure from ordinary activities, etc. There is no return and there are many Truths to be learnt.